Awakening
by scarysamgirl
Summary: Kylo Ren has a realization. [tw: incestuous thoughts]


**NOTE:** Typically, I don't write things this short and I hate writing things this short, but I saw Star Wars yesterday and I really needed to write something for it. I might write a full length Kylo Ren/Rey fic at some point, but for now enjoy this small bit! :) Please leave reviews!

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For the first time in years, Kylo Ren's heart was pounding in his chest. It had been since he'd started reading the mind of the girl in the next room. If he were truly honest with himself, it had started when he'd taken off his helmet and had only gotten worse from there. However, despite this, he'd managed to get what he'd come for, make it back to his room, and shut the door before he slumped against the wall, pressing one hand to his chest, feeling how quick his pulse was beneath his fingers.

That girl. That _girl._ There was something different about her.

And yet also…something familiar.

 _You know what that is,_ the voice in his head whispered. _You know what that means. You saw it in her head when you were reading her thoughts. She felt it, too. It's what made her so brave. It's the reason she was able to feel no pain, no fear, and defy even the likes of you._

He didn't want to believe it.

And not just because she was stronger than him. That much had been made abundantly clear to him the moment she began to fight back. But that was hardly a worry. Without proper training, she would never be able to utilize the powers she'd been given and with Luke Skywalker missing and the map to him incomplete, there was no way for her to do this.

No, the reason his heart was pounding, the reason for his concern was she was beautiful.

She was beautiful and she was his twin sister.

He closed his eyes and images flooded his mind. He watched her break the restraints he'd put on her. He watched him press her up against the wall of the ship, holding her hands over her head. He watched himself crush his lips to hers, his fingers holding her chin and neck in place, not bothering to be kind or gentle.

Letting out a gasp, he pulled himself out of the images circling through his mind and tried desperately to let the force tear them from his grasp, remind him that this was not his duty, not what he truly wanted, not what he'd come for.

But the images stayed and every time he shut his eyes, every time he blinked, she was there, taunting him in a new way, ways he'd never considered a girl _could_ tempt him before.

He let out a cry of anguish, slamming his hand against the wall, leaving a dent in the metal.

This was _not_ supposed to happen. How could this _girl_ , this random girl be his sister?

Out of everyone his heart had to pull itself towards, why did it have to be her?

The voice in his head spoke again.

 _Because you are damned,_ it whispered. _And damnation never looked like it, now, did it?_

The voice was right, of course. He was lost and he was damned and damnation never looked as advertised. It looked like your wildest dreams, put into a person or a thing, but there was a catch, there was always a catch. And the catch was something you could not work around. If your damnation was a drug, then it would make you its slave before killing you.

If your damnation was who you loved, then it would give you the only person you could not have as the only person you would ever want.

Kylo Ren's eyes slid across the room to the helmet sitting on the small pedestal near a second pedestal that was used as a stool. It was twisted, deformed from having been melted and reformed whilst soft with heat, but it was still the same helmet that his grandfather had worn so long ago. It was his guidance, his reminder as to why he had chosen the shadows over the light, but when he looked at it now, it seemed like a black stain on his vision.

 _She's changed everything,_ he realized. _She has done nothing except look at me. She's barely even spoken to me, and yet…she's changed everything_.

However, even as he though this, he knew that this was not the end of this new world this girl had shown him.

No.

It was only the beginning.


End file.
